Much Ado About Nothing - Noyemi

By William Shakespeare

    beauty.
  Claud. And never could maintain his part but in the force of
his
    will.
  Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought
me
    up, I likewise give her most humble thanks; but that I will
have
    a rechate winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an
invisible
    baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do
them
    the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to
trust
    none; and the fine is (for the which I may go the finer), I
will 
    live a bachelor.
  Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.
  Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not
with
    love. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will
get
    again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's
pen
    and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of
    blind Cupid.
  Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt
    prove a notable argument.
  Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me;
and
    he that hits me, let him be clapp'd on the shoulder and
call'd
    Adam.
  Pedro. Well, as time shall try.
    'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.'
  Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick
bear
    it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead,
and
    let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they
write
    'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign
    'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'
  Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. 
  Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice,
thou
    wilt quake for this shortly.
  Bene. I look for an earthquake too then.
  Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the
meantime,
    good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's, commend me to him
and
    tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath
made
    great preparation.
  Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage;
and
    so I commit you--
  Claud. To the tuition of God. From my house--if I had it--
  Pedro. The sixth of July. Your loving friend, Benedick.
  Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is
    sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but
slightly
    basted on neither. Ere you flout old ends any further,
examine
    your conscience. And so I leave you.                   Exit.
  Claud. My liege, your Highness now may do me good.
  Pedro. My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how,
    And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
    Any hard lesson that may do thee good.
  Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord? 
  Pedro. No child but Hero; she's his only heir.
    Dost thou affect her, Claudio?
  Claud.O my lord,
    When you went onward on this ended action,
    I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
    That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand
    Than to drive liking to the name of love;
    But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts
    Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
    Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
    All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
    Saying I lik'd her ere I went to wars.
  Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently
    And tire the hearer with a book of words.
    If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
    And I will break with her and with her father,
    And thou shalt have her. Wast not to this end
    That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?
  Claud. How sweetly you do minister to love,
    That know love's grief by his complexion! 
    But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
    I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise.
  Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
    The fairest grant is the necessity.
    Look, what will serve is fit. 'Tis once, thou lovest,
    And I will fit thee with the remedy.
    I know we shall have revelling to-night.
    I will assume thy part in some disguise
    And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,

-4-

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Much Ado About Nothing - Noyemi

By William Shakespeare

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