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An Ideal Husband - Noyemi

By Oscar Wilde

come here to try to find one.

LADY BASILDON.  [Looking round through her lorgnette.]  I don't see
anybody here to-night whom one could possibly call a serious purpose.
The man who took me in to dinner talked to me about his wife the
whole time.

MRS. MARCHMONT.  How very trivial of him!

LADY BASILDON.  Terribly trivial!  What did your man talk about?

MRS. MARCHMONT.  About myself.

LADY BASILDON.  [Languidly.]  And were you interested?

MRS. MARCHMONT.  [Shaking her head.]  Not in the smallest degree.

LADY BASILDON.  What martyrs we are, dear Margaret!

MRS. MARCHMONT.  [Rising.]  And how well it becomes us, Olivia!

[They rise and go towards the music-room.  The VICOMTE DE NANJAC, a
young attache known for his necktie
s and his Anglomania, approaches
with a low bow, and enters into conversation.]

MASON.  [Announcing guests from the top of the staircase.]  Mr. and
Lady Jane Barford.  Lord Caversham.

[Enter LORD CAVERSHAM, an old gentleman of seventy, wearing the
riband and star of the Garter.  A fine Whig type.  Rather like a
portrait by Lawrence.]

LORD CAVERSHAM.  Good evening, Lady Chiltern!  Has my good-for-
nothing young son been here?

LADY CHILTERN.  [Smiling.]  I don't think Lord Goring has arrived
yet.

MABEL CHILTERN.  [Coming up to LORD CAVERSHAM.]  Why do you call Lord
Goring good-for-nothing?

[MABEL CHILTERN is a perfect example of the English type of
prettiness, the apple-blossom type.  She has all the fragrance and
freedom of a flower.  There is ripple after ripple of sunlight in her
hair, and the little mouth, with its parted lips, is expectant, like
the mouth of a child.  She has the fascinating tyranny of youth, and
the astonishing courage of innocence.  To sane people she is not
reminiscent of any work of art.  But she is really like a Tanagra
statuette, and would be rather annoyed if she were told so.]

LORD CAVERSHAM.  Because he leads such an idle life.

MABEL CHILTERN.  How can you say such a thing?  Why, he rides in the
Row at ten o'clock in the morning, goes to the Opera three times a
week, changes his clothes at least five times a day, and dines out
every night of the season.  You don't call that leading an idle life,
do you?

LORD CAVERSHAM.  [Looking at her with a kindly twinkle in his eyes.]
You are a very charming young lady!

MABEL CHILTERN.  How sweet of you to say that, Lord Caversham!  Do
come to us more often.  You know we are always at home on Wednesdays,
and you look so well with your star!

LORD CAVERSHAM.  Never go anywhere now.  Sick of London Society.
Shouldn't mind being introduced to my own tailor; he always votes on
the right side.  But object s
trongly to being sent down to dinner
with my wife's milliner.  Never could stand Lady Caversham's bonnets.

MABEL CHILTERN.  Oh, I love London Society!  I think it has immensely
improved.  It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and
brilliant lunatics.  Just what Society should be.

LORD CAVERSHAM.  Hum!  Which is Goring?  Beautiful idiot, or the
other thing?

MABEL CHILTERN.  [Gravely.]  I have been obliged for the present to
put Lord Goring into a class quite by himself.  But he is developing
charmingly!

LORD CAVERSHAM.  Into what?

MABEL CHILTERN.  [With a little curtsey.]  I hope to let you know
very soon, Lord Caversham!

MASON.  [Announcing guests.]  Lady Markby.  Mrs. Cheveley.

[Enter LADY MARKBY and MRS. CHEVELEY.  LADY MARKBY is a pleasant,
kindly, popular woman, with gray hair e la marquise and good lace.
MRS. CHEVELEY, who accompanies her, is tall and rather slight.  Lips
very thin and highly-coloured, a line of scarlet on a pallid face.
Venetian red hair, aquiline nose, and long throat.  Rouge accentuates
the natural paleness of her complexion.  Gray-green eyes that move
restlessly.  She is in heliotrope, with diamonds.  She looks rather
like an orchid, and makes great demands on one's curiosity.  In all
her movements she is extremely graceful.  A work of art, on the
whole, but showing the influence of too many schools.]

-2-
 

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"Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands."

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