Wilson Mizner Quotes

» I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

» If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

» You sparkle with larceny.

» Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

» All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

» It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

» Art is science made clear.

» Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

» To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

» A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.

» I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

» A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

» The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

» Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.

» Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

» When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.

» A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

» God help those who do not help themselves.

» Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

» To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

» The first hundred years are the hardest.

» Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

» Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

» A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

» I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

» If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

» Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

» I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

» Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

» Failure has gone to his head.

» I respect faith but doubt is what gets you an education.

» Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

» The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

» The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

» Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

» There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

» In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

» I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

» A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

» The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

» I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

» Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

» I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

Who Said It?

Who Said: "Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more." Click To See

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"The accent of one's birthplace remains in the mind and in the heart as in one's speech." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Wilson Mizner Quotes

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