Spike Milligan Quotes

» Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

» Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

» A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

» All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

» And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

» How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

» I can speak Esperanto like a native.

» I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

» I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

» I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

» It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

» I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

» My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

» Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

» Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

» I'm a hero with coward's legs.

» It's all in the mind, you know.

» Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions.

» I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

» Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

» For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

» And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it.

» Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Who Said It?

Who Said: "It is very a dangerous thing to have an idea that you will not practice." Click To See

"The accent of one's birthplace remains in the mind and in the heart as in one's speech." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld