Robin Williams Quotes

» Carpe per diem - seize the check.

» If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

» Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

» When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

» Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

» Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

» The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

» We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

» We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

» You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

» Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

» I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

» I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

» Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

» Reality: What a concept!

» Comedy is acting out optimism.

» Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

» When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

» What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

» You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

» Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

» Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

» No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

» We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

» The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

» People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

» If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

» Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

» See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

» God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

» Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

» When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

» The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Who Said It?

Who Said: "If wishes were fishes we'd all be throwing nets. If wishes were horses we'd all ride." Click To See

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"The accent of one's birthplace remains in the mind and in the heart as in one's speech." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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