Lenny Bruce Quotes

» In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

» If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

» Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

» I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.

» When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

» Communism is like one big phone company.

» Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

» I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

» The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

» The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

» Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

» There are never enough I Love You's.

» The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.

» The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

» I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

» The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

» If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

» A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

Who Said It?

Who Said: "When part of what you're trying to get at is the truth hidden under a taboo, or when you want to nail a hypocrisy, laughter is a very useful tool. I want to show the painful side of existence, but there is no question I also want to make people laugh." Click To See

Daily Famous Quote

"I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed, I have no hair." - Patrick Stewart

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