Laurence J. Peter Quotes

» Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

» Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

» Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

» Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

» Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

» In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

» Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

» America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

» You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

» There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

» America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

» Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

» Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

» Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

» There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, andthose who did and never thought.

» You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

» The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

» A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

» Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

» Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

» If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

» Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

» It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

» Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

» When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

» A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

» Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

» Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

» Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

» Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

» Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

» A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

» The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

» As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

» Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

» Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

» The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

» Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

» Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

» If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

» An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

» The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

» A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

» If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

» Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

» Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

» Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

» A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

» An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

» Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

» Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

» Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.

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