Jonathan Swift Quotes

» Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

» May you live every day of your life.

» The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.

» Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

» For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

» A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday.

» We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

» As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

» Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind.

» Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.

» I've always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I'm going to make the next one.

» No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience.

» Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes.

» There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

» Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

» Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want.

» A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

» Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.

» Books, the children of the brain.

» He was a bold man that first eat on oyster.

» A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.

» My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.

» I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

» When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

» Proper words in proper places make the true definiton of style.

» We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.

» Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.

» He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

» There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.

» Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

» The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable, for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.

» Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

» It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not.

» Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.

» Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting.

» It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.

» What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly.

» Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

» No wise man ever wished to be younger.

» The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.

» Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth, and judgment of age.

» Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.

» I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

» One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.

» As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.

» Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest.

» Observation is an old man's memory.

» Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.

» There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake.

» Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.

» Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced.

» Don't set your wit against a child.

» Human brutes, like other beasts, find snares and poison in the provision of life, and are allured by their appetites to their destruction.

» I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

» Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.

» Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.

» Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.

» The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

» A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.

» The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.

» Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

» May you live all the days of your life.

» Every dog must have his day.

» There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

» Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.

» Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.

» We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

» When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

» A lie does not consist in the indirect position of words, but in the desire and intention, by false speaking, to deceive and injure your neighbour.

» It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind.

» If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.

» It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.

» The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.

» Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth.

» I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution.

» Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.

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Who Said: "I was about 11 when my mother brought me this karaoke machine and I was really into it back then, but about 4 or 5 years ago is when I started printing up my own music, going to the studio and doing my own thing." Click To See

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"If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet." - Neil Simon

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