Joan Rivers Quotes & Quotations

Joan Rivers Quotes

» I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

» Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

» My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

» There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

» Can we talk?

» I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all over again.

» Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

» Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

» My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

» My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

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