Jay London Quotes

» I saw a stationery store move.

» Do you know it was a year a ago today?

» A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

» It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

» I model irregular clothing.

» You know what burns me? Matches.

» I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

» My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

» They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

» My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

» I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

» I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

» Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

» At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

» I was born nine months premature.

» I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

» A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

» I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

» My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

» I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

» People read me but they don't subscribe.

» I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

» I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

» I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

» I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

» I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

» After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

» My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

» I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

» My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

» I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

» I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

» I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

» Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

» I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

Who Said It?

Who Said: "I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head." Click To See

Daily Famous Quote

"I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed, I have no hair." - Patrick Stewart

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