Quotation (n): The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. (Ambrose Bierce)
Suggest a Famous Quote | At A Loss For Words

Noyemi Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes & Quotations by Famous and Not-So-Famous People

Jack Handey Quotes

» Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions? - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /

» He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, 'Dust to dust,' some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven---with a gun. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /

» I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /

» Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /

» It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something. - (Deep Thoughts) Saturday Night Live

/ /

» A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke. - (Deep Thoughts) Saturday Night Live

/ /

» The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

/ /

» If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /

» A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

/ /

» Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

/ /


 

Famous Quote Sponsors

Who Said It?

Who Said: "Language is a part of our organism and no less complicated than it." Click To See

Daily Famous Quote

Who Said: "A teacher's purpose is not to create students in his own image, but to develop students who can create their own image." Subscribe

Quotes by Author

Quotes by Subject