Garrison Keillor Quotes & Quotations

Garrison Keillor Quotes

» Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

» The funniest line in English is ''Get it?'' When you say that, everyone chortles.

» A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

» One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.

» Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

» Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.

» Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

» Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

» Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

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