Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

» I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

» You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

» I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

» I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

» Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.

» In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

» People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

» My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

» Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

» Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and then run away.

» Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.

» I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.

» I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.

» But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.

» Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away.

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