» I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
» If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
» When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
» I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day.