» 'Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.
» Presents, I often say, endear absents.
» Pain is life -- the sharper, the more evidence of life.
» Were I Diogenes, I would not move out of a kilderkin into a hogshead, though the first had had nothing but small beer in it, and the second reeked claret.
» To be sick is to enjoy monarchical prerogatives.
» A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.
» Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever puts one down without the feeling of disappointment.
» A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.
» For God's sake (I never was more serious) don't make me ridiculous any more by terming me gentle-hearted in print... substitute drunken dog, ragged head, seld-shaven, odd-eyed, stuttering, or any other epithet which truly and properly belongs to the gentleman in question.
» Riches are chiefly good because they give us time.